Introducing to the Chicago North Shore Mom’s Meet a Mom community spotlight Lake Forest mom of three girls, mega girl’s girl supporting Chicago North Shore Mom’s Meet a Mom Spotlights for the last five years, blood cancer warrior mom, entrepreneur and founder and CEO of Gifford Law, specializing in estate planning for everyone, the incomparable Mary Gregory Gifford.
Get to know Mary, the very personal decision she decided to make major career pivot to business owner in 2020, a few of her favorite North Shore gems and answers to confusing estate planning questions we have all wondered about.
Mary embodies the essence of community and empowerment, and we can’t thank her enough for helping us lift up our local North Shore mamas. Welcome, Mary!
Hi Mary! Where are you from originally? What city do you live in now?
Hi! My name is Mary Gifford. I grew up in Libertyville. My husband and I lived in the city prior to moving to Lake Forest. We moved here for the schools, community, and backyard!
You’re a mama! How many kiddos do you have and how old are they?
I have three children… all girls. I have twins who just turned 13 and a younger daughter who is 11. They all are super into competitive cheer and are on cheer teams at Cheer Athletics Chicago. That said, I spend most of my evenings driving them to and from practice and eavesdropping on their back seat conversations.
What’s your favorite thing about being a mom of three girls?
My absolute favorite thing about being a mom is watching their personalities come to life a little more every day. When I first had each of my children, I remember looking at these blank slates of a human, thinking “Who are you???”. Now, I love observing what interests to which they are naturally and intrinsically drawn, catching a moment where their senses of humor emerge, watching them develop relationships with each other and the world, listening to their opinions on life, and taking in their ever-changing personal styles (using the term ‘style’ very loosely here).
What’s something unique about you that people would be surprised to learn?
On my honeymoon, my husband and I spent a night in a treehouse on a South African wild game reserve, miles from other people. It was amazing to wake up predawn with the animals.
I am an English Bulldog lover. I am on my second English Bulldog, a three-year-old named Potato. I love their sweet faces, soulful eyes, and funny personalities. Potato truly brings our family so much joy. I also love English Bulldog themed accents…think book ends, trinket dishes, matchstick holders. I only allow myself to display a few items at a time in our house though, for fear of our home being mistaken for that of an English Bulldog breeder.
Any North Shore go-to’s you’d like to share?
Our family’s favorite places to eat are Walker Bros. for breakfast, Bangkok Tokyo in Lake Bluff for sushi and Thai, and Sophia Steak in Lake Forest for a nice adult night out.
Any good reads or tv shows you’ve binged lately?
My family is currently rewatching Modern Family. It holds up!
Your mantra?
Live the values you hope your children grow into.
You’re an entrepreneur! Please introduce your Estate Planning firm, Gifford Law, LLC.
I started Gifford Law, LLC in 2020. Gifford Law is a client-centered estate planning law firm rooted on the North Shore of Chicago. My firm is driven by expertise, transparency, and human connection. With salient experience, comprehensive services, and fair pricing, we guide clients through the available estate planning options to achieve peace of mind for our clients and their loved ones.
Let’s go back to the basics, estate planning 101… What is the difference between a will and a trust?
A will and a trust are both tools for passing on your assets, but they work in different ways.
A will is a document that says what you want to happen to your property after you die and who should take care of your minor children. It only takes effect when you pass away, and it usually goes through a court process called probate, which can take time and become public.
A trust is an arrangement where a person or organization manages your assets for the benefit of others. A trust can help avoid probate and can give you more control over when and how your assets are distributed. Trusts are often used to make things simpler, more private, and more flexible for families.
What are the 2 most common questions that people reach out to ask you? Please also provide those answers.
“Why is it so important to have an estate plan once you have a family?”
This is where things get heavy. And for good reason. What would happen to your children if you died tomorrow?
Say you have a parent or other relative who you would like to take care of your kids. Without an estate plan, that relative would need to obtain guardianship over your children through a court proceeding before they would have legal authority to manage their care and provide for their well-being. What your assets? Your property would need to be distributed through probate court. If your children are minors, they will not be able to access those assets until they reach age 18. In the meantime, a guardian would manage that property for your children. Taking care of your children and taking care of your stuff all requires time, money, and court proceedings. There are also many ways things could go wrong. Are there any relatives you do NOT want to take care of your kids? Is there anyone you do NOT want to oversee your assets? Do you want to leave certain funds for your child’s education? Do you want to ensure your child is able to stay in the same city or school district after your death? Are there any other special instructions you want to leave behind? Without an estate plan, all these questions are left up to chance.
Considering your own death can be a very heavy thought, especially once a child has come into your life. However, it’s just another one of the many hard parenting things you’ve already done and will continue to do to ensure that your child is provided for and taken care of, no matter what happens. And I’d still argue that creating an estate plan is a lot easier than 3 AM feedings or waiting up for your teen driver to arrive home at night.
“I’m not rich, do I really need an estate plan?”
Absolutely. The goal of an estate plan is to provide security for you and your family. When you think of it that way, wealth has nothing to do with it at all.
An estate plan isn’t for you, but for those you love and leave behind. When you die, someone has to settle your estate. Even for a small checking account and a car, someone has to distribute the account and change car’s title. Without an estate plan, someone will have to go to probate court, prove a relationship to the deceased and be assigned by a judge to serve as executor.
You will also want to plan for your health. No one wants to spend time thinking about what would happen if you became unable to direct your own medical care because of an illness, an accident, or advanced age. However, if you don’t do at least a little bit of planning—writing down your wishes about the kinds of treatment you do or don’t want to receive and naming someone you trust to oversee your care—then these important matters could wind up in the hands of estranged family members, doctors, or sometimes even judges, who may know very little about what you would prefer. While you are having a medical crisis, your loved ones will undoubtedly be undergoing their own emotional crisis in their concern for you. You can make it easier on them by having your healthcare wishes documented, giving your loved ones the comfort of knowing they are executing your plan exactly the way you want.
How does the process work when people reach out to you?
The first step is booking an introductory meeting at a time convenient for you. During the introductory meeting I explain my estate planning practice and learn about you and your family to understand your estate planning needs.
After our introductory conversation, I will send you an Estate Planning Questionnaire. Once you submit that questionnaire, we will prepare an estate planning consultation designed specifically for you and your family. There is no charge for this consultation. If you decide you would like to move forward with drafting the estate planning documents, we will send you an engagement letter and get started.
What do you find is the biggest hurdle people have when it comes to starting and completing a will and trust?
I find that the biggest hurdle is just getting started. Honestly, getting your estate plan done is a bummer chore. It forces you to think about the future, mortality, change, and your loved ones living without you. But I promise that getting started is the hardest part. Once you have a well thought out estate plan, you will feel so much better and at peace, knowing you have plans in the event the unthinkable were to happen.
One of the reasons you started your own practice is quite personal. Can you please share with us more about that?
One of the motivations for starting my firm was the opportunity to help families to prepare for and deal with the unexpected. Our family was dealt the unexpected in 2018 when my youngest daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of 3. It was the last thing I ever anticipated happening to my sweet baby girl. Her diagnosis fundamentally changed our family and taught us to live in the present, remain grateful for the boring ordinary routine days, focus on what really matters, and to give back to other families dealing with a child with cancer. We are forever grateful to the Lurie Children’s Hospital Cancer and Blood Disorders Team. To all the Cancer Mommas, I know how hard it is and how long the road is. My heart goes out to you and I’m happy to talk to anyone going through it.
Thank you for sharing your story with our audience. I know your vulnerability is a blessing for anyone going through that.
Are you involved with any local nonprofits?
Yes, our family fundraises for Blood Cancer United (formerly Leukemia Lymphoma Society) every year. We hope to see the end of all blood cancers someday.
I also volunteer for the fundraising organization for my girls’ school district, raising funds to enable a wide range of educational experiences and resources to promote excellence in education throughout the district.
Prior to starting your career you worked for a CPA firm. Was it scary to leave a corporate office and go out on your own?
To be honest, it wasn’t scary to start a practice on my own, because I knew I wasn’t completely alone and was in control of my future. Throughout my career, I built a great network of relationships that have been invaluable to my practice. I knew that if I started my own firm, I could choose the people I surrounded myself with. I found intelligent, experienced, inspiring, and generous people to mentor me, surrounded myself with supportive and like-minded peers with whom I can share experiences and collaborate, chose the clients that I wanted to serve, and found a way to practice law that aligns with my personal morals and beliefs.
That is not to say that having a solo practice isn’t hard. Because it is. But everything is hard. Working for a firm or company where you get a regular paycheck every two weeks, but have no control, autonomy, and are unfulfilled and unsatisfied is also hard. You have to choose your hard.
What advice can you give other mamas out there who are looking to start a new business?
I think one by one, we as mothers, have to find our own paths and our own creative solutions when it comes to remaining in the workforce while raising children. The internet and social media are the great equalizers. Never in our history have information and resources been so available and accessible to everyone. Never before have we had such an opportunity to create our own brand, networks, connections, and ability to speak directly to our clients, customers, networks. If you want to start a new business, put together a plan and start chipping away at it. If possible, start by doing it on the side. Just start, learn from your mistakes, adjust accordingly, repeat.
Fabulous advice, thank you!
We are truly honored to have you as Chicago North Shore Moms official Meet a Mom supporting sponsor! Why did you choose to become involved?
I chose to become the CNSM Meet a Mom sponsor because it was the perfect opportunity to both serve the local community by sharing the amazing resources we have right here in our own backyard and to help support local moms and their businesses. I truly believe that the old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” still remains true. Our villages may look different, and may reside somewhere in the sea of binary code that is the internet, but I believe when women come together and support and promote each other, the entire community wins. CNSM is an amazing resource and a great community of moms and I feel lucky to be a part of it. Not to mention, it is run by some pretty cool chicks.
How can we connect with you for more information?
You can find my website here: Gifford-Law.com If you are interested in connecting to discuss an estate plan please reach out to me at [email protected].
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