Words by Rebecca Glick, founder of Nefesh Living, functional medicine coach
Do you know a relaxed Woman?
That was the hook that recently made me hit purchase on a book titled The Relaxed Woman by Nicola Jane Hobbs. Because seriously… do you?
I paused and honestly struggled to come up with a single example.
Our cultural norms reward the woman who’s always going, always producing, always holding everything together. And with that comes a subtle (or not-so-subtle) sense of guilt anytime we slow down, rest, or choose to do absolutely nothing. I mean REALLY nothing. Relaxation isn’t just undervalued — it’s almost seen as suspicious.
But as we sail into the swirl of the holidays, school breaks, family gatherings, travel, and the pressure of a new year, I want to offer you something different: permission to explore the art of real relaxation. True downtime. The kind where you let yourself be instead of constantly doing.
And trust me, I get how hard this is. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have ordered the book in the first place 🙂 But even experimenting with small pockets of rest can be surprisingly refreshing… and revealing.
Our bodies and minds were not designed to be in nonstop “go mode.”
There is no prize for productivity — not at the end of the day, the week, or the year. What our nervous system actually craves is oscillation: moments of effort followed by moments of ease. When we never allow the “ease,” stress becomes our default setting.
And for midlife women, operating in constant “fight or flight” mode is more than just feeling stressed; it raises inflammation, which can ultimately amplify hormone-related symptoms. Supporting your nervous system helps quite the internal “noise” so your body can feel grounded and steady.
So what does relaxation even look like?
Inspired by the book and other practices that support midlife women, it might be:
- Sitting with a cup of tea and actually savoring it instead of drinking it while doing five other things
- Letting yourself read a few pages of a book just because it feels good
- Allowing the laundry or dishes to wait without making it mean anything about you
- Doing one task at a time — one of Nicola Hobbs’ biggest themes — instead of stacking three in the same moment
- Softening perfectionism and embracing “good enough”
- Taking a slow walk without tracking steps, speed, or productivity
- Giving yourself permission to rest without explanation or justification
- Letting the kids watch a show so you can breathe for a moment
Relaxation is less about what you’re doing and more about giving your nervous system a moment where it doesn’t have to be on high alert — where you’re not anticipating, planning, or managing everyone’s needs at once.
As we move deeper into this busy season and perhaps a holiday break, I invite you to experiment with one tiny moment of intentional rest each day. And maybe even more than a moment an actual full day with doing a whole lot of nothing. Not because you’ve “earned it,” but because you deserve it as a human.
And if you’re looking for support in actually building this into your life in a sustainable, meaningful way, I’m here to help. It’s what I love guiding women through.
About Rebecca Glick
Rebecca is a board-certified functional medicine health coach supporting busy midlife moms in prioritizing their health and well-being through building small, doable habits that actually stick — especially at a stage of life when balanced nutrition, consistent movement, restorative sleep, and stress management really matter.
You can reach her at [email protected], on Instagram @nefeshliving, or at www.nefeshliving.com. You can also learn more about Rebecca in Chicago North Shore Moms’ Meet a Mom spotlight here!
