This heartfelt piece comes from North Shore mom Sharon Count, who shares her personal story of navigating the first Christmas without her children after divorce. Her reflections offer comfort, perspective, and hope for any parent learning to celebrate the holidays in a new way.
The first Christmas my kids were not with me was harder than I ever imagined. They left on Christmas Eve after our celebration, and I watched their car lights fade down the street. They would wake up at their dad’s the next morning, and for the first time, my house would be completely still.
Christmas morning came, and it was quiet. No laughter, no torn wrapping paper, no smell of cinnamon rolls baking. Just silence. I sat by the tree, trying to remind myself that we had celebrated the night before, but it still felt like something was missing.
On December 26th, I took down the Christmas tree. It was not about being done with the holidays. It was about needing to move forward. For me, that small act became a way to start fresh.
That same week, the kids went to Jamaica with their dad. Once again, that feeling of being left behind crept in. I filled the days with chores and self-care. I took long baths, made simple meals, and let myself remember the good times from our past vacations. Slowly, I started to feel lighter.
Over the years, I have learned that healing comes from creating new traditions. I began to change things up with different foods, new drinks, and new games. I would make a special toast, turn up the music, or try a new recipe. Even gift giving became something different. Their dad preferred to stick to a list, but my gifts became more about the person, something small that said, “I see you,” rather than trying to make everything even.
Life after divorce forces you to reimagine what family looks like, especially during the holidays. And with time, I realized that my kids and I were all in a better place. We were no longer living in a home filled with tension, but in two homes filled with peace.
If this is your first Christmas without your children, I know how heavy it feels. You are not alone.
Here are a few things that helped me through:
Tips for the First Holiday Without Your Kids
1. Do something different.
Change the menu. Try a new tradition. Let the day look new. It helps shift your focus.
2. Let yourself feel what you feel.
It is okay to cry or to take the tree down early if that helps you start again.
3. Take care of yourself.
Light a candle. Run a bath. Treat yourself like someone you love.
4. Reach out.
Even a short call with a friend or walk with a neighbor can lift your spirits.
5. Remember that this is just one year.
It will not always feel this hard. You are creating something new and beautiful, one season at a time.
That first Christmas taught me that love does not disappear just because the traditions change. It just finds new ways to show up. And sometimes, that starts with taking down the tree and choosing to begin again.
About the Author:
Sharon Count is a Glenview mom of four, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and founder of the Center for Divorce Resolution, where she helps families navigate divorce with compassion and clarity. She also co owns Corner Optical, a local eyewear studio where creativity meets craftsmanship. Sharon believes that healing and reinvention often begin with courage, and sometimes, a little sparkle.
