The end of the school year means it’s time for transitions. And if your kids are anything like mine, this time of year wreaks havoc on anxiety, self confidence and behavior. North Shore mom and Certified Life Coach Leslie Randolph explores ways that we, as parents, can help boost our child’s positive inner voice to help combat these times of transition and all times! And, it starts with positive self-talk. While we can be a source of unconditional love, the cheerleader forever in their corner, we want to teach them to be that voice for themselves. So take a few minutes of “me-time” to read these helpful tips that offer ways to decrease the “bully brain” and increase the “bestie brain”. These are easy actionable steps for you and your kids!
How Boost Your Child’s Positive Inner Voice by Leslie Randolph, Certified Life Coach
Do you ever feel like your mind is going a mile a minute? Between work, global warming, grocery lists, school activities, Swiftie’s newest song, the dentist appointment you keep meaning to make…there’s a lot happening up there!
You’re not alone. And your kid is right there with you.
Some research suggests that we think 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, a staggering 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive. Forget Swiftie, the soundtrack in our collective minds is the blues and it’s playing on repeat.
In my self-confidence coaching practice for teens, one of the key lessons I teach is that your thoughts are simply OPTIONAL sentences in your brain.
Read that again… your thoughts are simply OPTIONAL sentences in your brain.
Your thoughts are not facts, most of them aren’t even true but we blindly believe them. Your thoughts are the roadmap of your life. They will lead you to be and do what you THINK is possible. The simplest way to demonstrate this is with a goal.
As grown-ups, we have a strong sense of self – good, bad, or somewhere in between – we have an idea of who we are. Our kids are still figuring it out. They are trying on new labels and identities everyday – deciding who they want to be in this world. They are still finding their voice, values, and unique gifts.
Often, they look to us as the barometer for their worth. It is critical that they understand that their worth is fixed, their lovability is infinite, and the world needs them to be who they were born to be.
While we can be a source of unconditional love, the cheerleader forever in their corner, we want to teach them to be that voice for themselves.
It starts with positive self-talk.
Now, we are working against biology here since their brain is offering them thousands of negative thoughts a day, many of which are focused on their flaws, shortcomings, and weaknesses. I call this the “bully brain.” But within each of us there is also a “bestie brain.” The one that sees our greatness, our gifts, and strengths. To access it takes intention and affirmations are a great place to start.
Like a muscle, your child’s “bestie brain” needs to be strengthened and that takes repetition. I encourage all my clients to have a post-it on their mirror or next to their toothbrush with “bestie beliefs” they say to themselves daily. I suggest saying the belief while looking in the mirror, reminding them that the amazing human they are talking about is the one they see looking back.
Ask your child what they believe about themselves and what they WANT to believe. Remember it’s a choice and one they can always make. Have them write it on the post-it and say it to themselves daily.
It’s ideal if the words are their own as they want to BELIEVE it when they say it to themselves, but I’ve offered a few beliefs they can borrow to kick-off their self-confidence journey:
❤️I am worthy of love, and it begins with me.
❤️ I am worthy, I am capable, I am enough.
❤️ I am loved, I am lovable, I am loving.
❤️ The world is waiting for my gifts.
❤️ I can always choose to believe in myself.
❤️ My opinion of me matters most and it’s always my choice.
You got this, mama. And I got you. My ears and inbox are always open if you need support or a cheerleader in YOUR corner.
*Leslie Randolph is a self-confidence coach for teenage girls (and the teenage girl that still exists in you). Learn more about Leslie at confidencecoachforgirls.com, on social as The Coach Chronicles or tune in to her podcast, Why Didn’t They Tell U