The holidays can look different after divorce, but they can still be deeply meaningful. For North Shore families navigating co-parenting, building new traditions can bring comfort, stability, and unexpected joy. Here are gentle, practical tips to help your family create a holiday season that fits who you are now.
Words by Sharon Count, divorce mediator and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything we feel as parents, including joy, nostalgia, grief, and hope. For families navigating divorce or separation, the season can feel especially tender. Traditions that once felt automatic may now need to be reimagined, and familiar rhythms can suddenly feel unfamiliar.
The good news is that holidays don’t have to look the same to still be meaningful. In fact, some of the most joyful traditions come from moments of intentional change. Holidays offer an opportunity to build something new, something that fits your family now.
Let Traditions Evolve (Without Guilt)
It’s okay if certain traditions no longer feel right. You’re not erasing the past, but you’re honoring the present. Children are remarkably adaptable when they feel emotionally safe and included. Try introducing one new tradition each year: a holiday breakfast out, a winter walk through your favorite neighborhood, or a movie night that happens every time they return from their other parent’s home.
Focus on Transitions, Not Just the Holiday
In co-parenting families, the transitions around holidays often carry more emotional weight than the holiday itself. Children may feel excited to go and sad to leave, both at the same time.
Create a small ritual for these moments. A special goodbye note, a warm send-off breakfast, or a consistent “welcome home” tradition can help children feel grounded and supported, regardless of where they’re headed.
Keep Communication Adult-Centered
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children during the holidays is emotional neutrality between households. This doesn’t require perfection, just intention. Keep scheduling, logistics, and disagreements between adults, and let children enjoy the holiday without carrying emotional responsibility.
Redefine What “Special” Means
Holiday magic doesn’t come from matching pajamas or perfectly timed celebrations. It comes from presence. Sometimes that means fewer events, quieter moments, or choosing rest over rush. Read a book, tell a story by the fire or listen to Christmas music together.
Trust That New Traditions Can Be Just as Meaningful
Over time, the unfamiliar becomes familiar. New traditions settle in. Children grow into them. What once felt hard begins to feel normal, and often, surprisingly beautiful. The holidays can become a season not just of remembrance, but of renewal.
About the Author, Sharon Count:
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Sharon Count is a Chicago North Shore divorce mediator and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® who works closely with families during separation. She is passionate about guiding parents through divorce with clarity and compassion while supporting healthy co-parenting relationships for the years ahead. She is the cofounder of Center for Divorce Resolution located in Northfield.
