Words by Sharon Count, CDFA, founder of Center for Divorce Resolution
Planning the Summer Picnic Is Easy. Choosing Your Divorce Process Is Hard.
Divorce is rarely something anyone plans for but understanding your options before you need them can change everything. Sharon Count, Certified Divorce Mediator and co-owner of the Center for Divorce Resolution, walks North Shore families through what’s actually on the table; there’s more than one path, and some can be far less costly than you’d expect.
Summer on the North Shore means backyard barbecues, neighborhood block parties, beach days, and picnics in the park. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent time deciding what belongs on the menu. Burgers or hot dogs? Watermelon or fruit salad? Chips, pasta salad, or both?
When planning a gathering, we carefully consider what will work best for everyone involved. We want our guests to feel comfortable, our kids to have fun, and the day to run as smoothly as possible.
Ironically, many people spend more time planning a summer picnic than they do understanding the options available when facing a divorce.
When emotions are high and uncertainty feels overwhelming, it’s easy to assume there’s only one path forward. In reality, there are several ways to navigate divorce, and understanding your options can make a significant difference in your family’s experience, finances, and future.
The Litigation Platter
Most people are familiar with traditional litigation because it’s what we often see on television and hear about from friends.
In litigation, each spouse hires an attorney, and if agreements cannot be reached, a judge ultimately decides the unresolved issues.
The process can involve financial disclosures, motions, discovery requests, depositions, court appearances, and, in some cases, a trial.
There are situations where litigation is necessary, particularly when there are concerns about safety, hidden assets, or one party refusing to participate in good-faith negotiations.
However, litigation is often the longest and most expensive option.
Typical timeline: approximately 2½ years.
Typical cost: $35,000 to $75,000 or more.
Think of it as ordering the largest item on the menu. It may be necessary in certain circumstances, but it comes with a substantial investment of time, energy, and money.
The Collaborative Buffet
Collaborative divorce offers a different approach.
Each spouse has their own attorney, but instead of preparing for court, everyone agrees to work together toward a settlement.
The team often includes a neutral financial professional and a divorce coach, ideally someone with a therapeutic background who can help manage communication and emotions throughout the process.
All participants sign an agreement committing to resolve issues outside of court.
Many families appreciate the collaborative model because it encourages problem-solving rather than conflict.
One important detail, however, is that if either party decides they want court involvement, the collaborative process ends. Both spouses must hire new litigation attorneys and begin again in the court system.
Typical timeline: 18 months to 2 years.
Typical cost: $20,000 to $30,000.
For some families, this team-based approach provides valuable support during a difficult transition.
The Mediation Picnic
Mediation takes yet another path.
Rather than each spouse hiring separate professionals to advocate for their position, both parties work with a neutral mediator whose role is to help facilitate productive conversations and informed decision-making.
A mediator doesn’t tell you what to do.
A mediator helps you identify your goals, discuss concerns, gather information, and create agreements that work for your family.
Topics often include parenting schedules, financial support, retirement accounts, the family home, future planning, and countless details unique to your circumstances.
For many parents, one of the greatest benefits of mediation is that they remain the decision-makers.
After all, no judge knows your children the way you do.
No judge knows the realities of your work schedules, holiday traditions, extracurricular activities, or family dynamics.
Typical timeline: approximately 3 months.
Typical cost: around $5,000.
For families who are able to communicate and negotiate with guidance, mediation can offer a more efficient, affordable, and customized path forward.
Every Great Picnic Needs Great Side Dishes
Of course, no picnic succeeds on hamburgers alone.
The side dishes often make the meal complete.
The same is true during divorce.
Many people worry that choosing mediation means navigating everything on their own. In reality, a strong mediation process often includes access to a network of trusted professionals who can provide specialized expertise when needed.
Depending on the situation, families may benefit from:
- Home appraisers
- Mortgage specialists
- Real estate professionals
- Business valuation experts
- Divorce coaches
- Career and job coaches
- Financial planners and advisors
These professionals help provide the information needed to make confident decisions without turning every question into a legal battle.
Choosing the Right Menu for Your Family
There is no perfect divorce process for every family.
Just as every summer gathering has a different guest list, every divorce has unique challenges, personalities, and priorities.
The most important step is understanding your options before making decisions based solely on fear, assumptions, or advice from well-meaning friends.
Whether you choose litigation, collaborative divorce, or mediation, the goal is the same: creating a path forward that protects your children, preserves your financial future, and allows your family to move into the next chapter with dignity.
And that’s something worth planning for—just like the perfect summer picnic.
About the Author:
Sharon Count is a Glenview mom of four, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and co-owner of the Center for Divorce Resolution, where she helps families navigate divorce with compassion and clarity. She works with families throughout Chicago’s North Shore and surrounding communities, helping couples navigate divorce with clarity, dignity, and less conflict. Sharon is passionate about empowering parents to make informed decisions that protect both their children and their financial futures.
