Hello friendly faces! It’s that time of the week! We’re back with a new Chicago North Shore Moms spotlight brought to you in part by Mary Gifford of Gifford Law.
This week’s Meet a Mom feature is a breath of fresh air we all crave in our mom lives! Rachael Fritz recently transitioned from a decades long teaching and education career for underserved communities via Teach for America to pursue her passion for helping families confidently navigate the beautiful chaos of family life. With an innate ability to turn parenting into a joyous journey, Rachael brings her insights and expertise to sprinkle a little magic on your parenting trials, tribulations, and accomplishments. Dive into the world of this Glencoe mom of three, a certified parenting coach, the founder and president of Parenting on Mars, and the visionary behind the Empowered Parent Accelerator program – Rachael Fritz!
Hi Rachael! Please introduce yourself. Where are you from originally? What city do you live in now? What brought you here?
Hi, I’m Rachael! I’m a life-long midwesterner. I grew up in a small town in Ohio. I moved to Chicago after undergrad when I joined Teach For America. I now live in Glencoe with my husband and three young kiddos.
Tell us about your fabulous children!
I’m a really good mom! It doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes or that my children don’t either. My life with them is hectic, messy, beautiful, frustrating, and joyous. I’m so thankful that my children have allowed me to experience the depth of human emotion. I have a daughter who is 8, and two sons ages 5 and 3. I struggled a lot with postpartum depression and anxiety after my first was born. For some time I didn’t think we’d have more kids. I had such a different experience after my first son came along. I was nursing him in the living room one morning when I had an image in my mind of three grown children. I knew at that point that one more was waiting to join us!
What are one or two fun facts to know about you?
I’ve had a number of encounters with ghosts/paranormal activity (!)
I’m a twin
What are your favorite North Shore places, spaces and eats to frequent?
We just moved to Glencoe in August, and I’m sad to say we still have much to explore. I have had the opportunity to become obsessed with the Glencoe Library, Hometown, and Guildhall!
What gets you through a tough day?
I’m big on the aesthetics of my environment. If I’m able to enjoy my wood burning fire, fresh flowers on my kitchen island, a clean (ish) house, and my “sweater weather” spotify playlist, I’ll be alright!
You are a certified parenting coach and the founder of Parenting on Mars. Tell us about your background and why you decided to move into the parent coaching space.
I’ve always been fascinated by child development. After undergrad I joined Teach For America to teach preschool in an underserved community here in Chicago. I then spent a decade working for the national education non-profit. In the midst of juggling my full-time job and motherhood, I found myself frequently diving into books, articles, and research on best parenting practices. I describe myself as a parenting enthusiast and fellow parents and friends started asking me for parenting advice. It started to make sense that pursuing a career that supported others in their parenthood journey was my calling.
Last January I left my career with Teach For America, became certified as a Parenting Coach through the Jai Institute for Parenting and founded Parenting on Mars. I’m dedicated to one-on-one coaching through my Empowered Parent Accelerator program. It’s a 90 day program to guide parents to parenting with confidence, pride, and success. It truly transforms families.
Any tips for when our kids hear us talking but just seem to never listen?
Ah yes! “My kids just don’t listen!” is probably one of the most common parenting challenges. The first question I ask parents who are concerned with this is whether they are asking them to “listen,” or asking that they comply/obey? Turns out it’s mostly the latter – and if that’s the case we can explore (without judgment) why that is.
So, let’s say we’ve had those conversations and we’ve already done the work to understand our personal and family values. Let’s also assume we’re able to clearly define our boundaries and how those boundaries uphold our values (hint: this is what actually makes boundaries “work”). Now we can explore the “listening” part.
When our kids aren’t “listening” or responding to our requests it isn’t because they are defiant or disrespectful or rude. Most of the time it has to do with the fact that auditory processing is still developing – and will continue to develop into the teen years. So instead of getting louder (and scarier) or handing down a punishment, a small shift in how WE are talking to our kids can make all the difference.
For example: getting in proximity to them instead of shouting across the room; kneeling down to be eye level; making a connection to them and what they’re doing before we ask something of them. I promise if you try this, you’ll start to get a different result!
What does “showing up for our kids” mean and why is that so important.
“Showing up for our kids” is shorthand for parenting in a way that leads us to develop a secure attachment relationship with our kids. This kind of attachment with a caregiver is what decades of research has confirmed leads to the most success, happiness, and wellbeing in a person’s life. In the book The Power of Showing Up, Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson explain that when we show up for our kids in a way that they feel seen, safe, soothed, and secure, we foster this type of attachment relationship that will benefit them and future generations of our family. We cover all of this in the Empowered Parent Accelerator!
And for those of us who have two working parents upwards of 65+ hours week, how do we show up for our kids amidst these work responsibilities?
The MOST important thing in our parenting is how our kids experience us. So when we aren’t working, how are our kids experiencing our presence? Are we attuned to them? Are we delighting in their company? Are we a safe haven? These are the ways we “show up” even in the midst of busy work schedules.
And misbehavior… Any advice when our kids are being obnoxious?
Absolutely! One of the first mindsets we need to shift into when trying to make a change in how we show up for our kids is the understanding that all behavior is communication. It’s communicating something about the inner world of our child. More traditional ways of parenting would have us look at behaviors as either deserving of reward or punishment. But the behavior is always a symptom of something else. That “something else” is most often an unmet need or an unlearned skill. Most of us are never told that when our child misbehaves we should get curious about what’s going on beneath the surface. But when we start to parent in this kind of way, we’re able to get much more cooperation and “desirable behavior” from our kids while also getting to know them deeply and authentically.
Tell us more about the Empowered Parent Accelerator program. How do we know if this program is right for us?
I work with parents who feel defeated and I give them tools and parenting strategies to fall in love with parenthood. My Empowered Parent Accelerator program leads parents from defeated to empowered in 90 days or less. I know what it’s like to lay in bed at night with the feeling that you just aren’t “doing it right.” I know how confusing it can be to get advice that doesn’t feel like a good fit for you or your child. I know that it’s painful to regret the way you spoke to, or interacted with, your child throughout the day. And I also know that you have all the power inside of you to parent how you always dreamed you would.
Throughout the program, you’ll gain knowledge on child development, brain science, nervous system science, and attachment theory. You’ll explore generational patterns of parenting in your family and you’ll get really clear on your values and intentions as a parent. I’ll teach you frameworks and approaches to tackling the challenges you’re facing as a parent right now AND as your kids grow.
Before we get started, we’ll have a connection conversation to figure out if it’s the right fit for you!
What is the process like to work with you?
When you work with me you get an empathetic and zero-judgment supporter. The work we do together is very parent-centric. I’m here to help you grow into the grounded, sturdy leader you deserve to be and your kids deserve to have. In-between the tender work we do together we’ll laugh and I’m sure exchange the sweet and hilarious parenting moments we run into.
I’m currently accepting new clients!
About our Meet of Mom Sponsor
A very heartfelt thank you to CNSMoms’ Meet a Mom sponsor, Lake Forest mom of three and owner of Gifford Law, a solo Estate Planning Firm (wills and trusts). Mary, we appreciate your support of local moms in our North Shore communities! Learn more about Mary by visiting her Meet a Mom spotlight here! Contact Mary directly here: [email protected].