Hello friendly faces! It’s that time of the week! We’re back with a new Chicago North Shore Moms spotlight brought to you in part by Mary Gifford of Gifford Law.
Rabbi Anna Calamaro is beaming. As a rabbi at Congregation Hakafa in Glencoe and a certified birth and postpartum doula with Bara, she’s living out her life’s passion and purpose. “Through my work as a doula, I fell in love with reproductive justice and empowering women in these incredibly vulnerable moments in their lives. And, of course, the nerd in me couldn’t help but research the intersection of Judaism and all things birth,” she explains. Congregation Hakafa is beacon of light to those who seek a “outside the box approach” to Judaism. Get to know more about Rabbi Anna, her journey to Congregation Hakafa, programs and experiences that the congregation has to offer and last but not least, an insightful mantra that we should all embrace. Welcome, Rabbi Anna!
Hi Rabbi Anna! Please introduce yourself. Where are you from originally? What city do you live in now? What brought you here?
Hi! My name is Anna Calamaro (she/her). I was born right here in Wilmette, so I have made a full circle back here and could not be more grateful. After living in Lakeview and Lincoln Park for four years, I took a leap of faith and moved across the world to pursue my dream of becoming a rabbi. My husband and I moved to Jerusalem (for my first year of school) in 2018 and spent the following four years living in Los Angeles, where I became ordained this past May 2023. I now serve Congregation Hakafa here in Glencoe and was thrilled to finally make the move back home.
You’re a mama! Tell us about your children. Please brag away.
While I wear many different professional hats, my favorite job in the universe is being a mama to our incredible son, Solomon. At the moment, he is 20 months old and I am completely in awe of him. He is polite, intelligent, funny, creative, and so loving. And while I can’t say I anticipated my wardrobe would become as stained with all-things-baby as it has become, I wouldn’t want to trade in that “mama uniform” for all the riches in the world. My husband and I have also embraced the “doing-things-with-only-one-hand” lifestyle and as a result, we only spill things or knock them over 12 times a day now instead of 14. So, hey, that’s a win!
What are your favorite North Shore places, spaces and eats to frequent?
Any time I visited home while living away, I made certain a trip to Walker Bros was a priority. Also, because I’m always meeting folks for coffee, I’ve become a regular at a handful of coffee shops: I’m obsessed with Hometown, Tala Coffee Roasters, Backlot Coffee, and Towne & Oak to name a few. Favorite local restaurants include Carlos & Carlos, Avli, Tsing Tao, AO Sushi, Max & Benny’s, Ruby of Siam, So Dong Gong, Portillos, and Doña Paty’s. I’m a foodie if you can’t tell!
What gets you through a tough day?
Music! When I’m feeling blah, nothing pulls me out of a funk quite like putting on my favorite playlist and singing along. I also play guitar (preferably alone, when no one is watching!) and love to sing Jewish music I find meaningful, nostalgic,and soothing.
Your mantra is…
“For now.” I had a mentor in rabbinical school who introduced me to this powerful phrase. There is so much pressure on folks to always have a plan set, a path chosen, a clear directive of what to do and how to live and what the end results should/could be. Instead, I find such liberation and peace in knowing that I can choose something just “for now” and can always change my mind, my path, my heart, my ideas later. Nothing is permanent. You are never stuck. Everything can be changed. This, whatever this is, is just “for now.”
You are a rabbi at Congregation Hakafa, based out of Glencoe. When and by whom was it founded? What does Hakafa mean?
Congregation Hakafa is near and dear to my heart. After my five years in rabbinical school where I had interned with a handful of different synagogues, no community compared to Congregation Hakafa (where I, myself, grew up!). It is an incredibly unique congregation of committed, compassionate individuals that have become like family to me. Rabbi Robert Marx (Z”L) was the founding rabbi (1983) of Congregation Hakafa. Rabbi Marx also founded, directed and served as the first president of the Jewish Council on Urban Affairs, a prominent Chicago organization dedicated to bringing the commitment of Judaism to the problems of the inner city.
When Rabbi Robert Marx retired in 2002, Rabbi Bruce Elder became the rabbi of Congregation Hakafa. Over the years, Rabbi Elder has become my mentor and role model. I have looked up to him for as long as I can remember, and now I have the opportunity to work alongside him. I am so honored to serve this incredible congregation.
Hakafa means “an encirclement of friends.” We are a Reform synagogue beyond walls and we meet at various spaces across the North Shore, with our “main hubs” being Glencoe and Winnetka. You can explore our website to discover more: www.hakafa.org.
Inspired by Rabbi Marx’s and Rabbi Elder’s words and deeds, Congregation Hakafa honors its original promise of encirclement, promoting in its members — and everyone they touch — an “I-Thou” relationship. As philosopher Martin Buber explains, when we treat another as a ”thou” rather than an “it,” we enhance the lives of other people while enlarging ourselves. It’s no wonder the circle has grown so wide over the past thirty years.
What makes this congregation different from other area congregations?
To design a congregation that was truly democratic, the founders created Hakafa without a board of directors, but with regular policy meetings, in which the whole congregation was encouraged to participate. They scheduled religious school to meet on three Sundays each month, deliberately and respectfully reserving the fourth as a family day. And, they developed a holiness curriculum that allowed the whole community to celebrate a specific theme of holy life each month, including worship, family, ethics, and nature. That sense of wholeness –reinforcing the theme of holiness — is one of Hakafa’s distinguishing features.
An external distinction of Congregation Hakafa was and remains the absence of a permanent building. Just as our ancestors turned from ritual sacrifice to prayer and study after the destruction of the Second Temple in Jerusalem, Hakafa’s decision not to purchase or construct a synagogue was grounded in both idealistic and pragmatic principles. To build a community of faith and a circle of friends who would extend its reach to the wider circle of humanity required an investment in people, not in property. And, to build a program of study that centered on holiness required an emphasis on habits of mind – how can we be holy? – not on fixing leaky roofs and decorating a sanctuary. It is that principle of loving-kindness, which binds one human to another, that encircles the Hakafa family. More practically, using existing buildings seemed to be – and still is — the most economical and ecologically sound option.
In addition to helping its own members, Hakafa, in its early years, adopted a sanctuary family, joining with synagogues and churches nationwide to provide refuge for families escaping persecution in their home countries. In the last forty years, Hakafa’s social action programs have branched out to address myriad needs – soup kitchens, women’s shelters, medical supplies, immigrant rights, LGBTQIA+ initiatives, reproductive justice, housing justice, support for foster families, and much more– both locally and globally.
You are also a DONA. How does this profession work hand-in-hand with being a Rabbi?
Another professional hat I wear is that of my “passion project.” I am a DONA, a certified birth and postpartum doula. Through my work as a doula, I fell in love with reproductive justice and empowering women in these incredibly vulnerable moments in their lives. And, of course, the nerd in me couldn’t help but research the intersection of Judaism and all things birth. As a result, for my rabbinic capstone project, I developed a birth and postpartum workbook to accompany Jewish birthers through their pregnancies and beyond, incorporating spirituality and modernizing ancient Jewish birthing rituals. This passion has led to a “birth” of another kind as well… just this year, I launched Bara: The Jewish Birthing Network, a hybrid community of birthers looking to educate, enrich, and empower themselves throughout their birth experiences. These programs offer everything from prenatal birth education classes to birth story sharing circles, inspired by the stories and wisdom of our ancient Jewish matriarchs. We’ve held two in-person events on the North Shore over the past six weeks, and we could not be more thrilled to continue offering support to birthers in our community and across the country.
Any events coming up that we should know about?
Too many to count! Each week, there are myriad classes to choose from: everything from studying the weekly Torah portion by way of Midrash to a study of human emotion and behavior through an ancient method called Mussar. We offer monthly Rosh Chodesh (a women’s holiday that celebrates the new moon) at Yogaview in Wilmette, regular coffee meetups, weekly Sabbath (Shabbat) worship on Fridays and Saturdays, a unique community called Hakafa Chai for families with tots (ages 0-4 years old), Sunday School, programs for empty nesters, Jewish educational trips abroad, and sooooooo much more. I am blessed to be part of such an active, thriving community. Everything is listed on our website: https://www.hakafa.org/!
And if we want to try this congregation, how do we get a sample of if this is a good fit for our family?
We are always open! Drop in on a class (we do hybrid, so you can choose virtual or in-person… though in-person is always best, in my opinion), join us for a Shabbat service, meet up with us at a tot program, or simply grab coffee with me or Rabbi Bruce Elder. We’d love to meet you!
What’s on the horizon for Congregation Hakafa?
We are finding ourselves at a fascinating point in the history of Jewish life. Between the boom of technology/social media and all that came with it, the deep isolation of the pandemic years, and a general trend of decreased interest in religious life (across the board, for all Americans of all faith backgrounds), some synagogues are feeling frustrated and helpless. Congregation Hakafa sees these challenges as opportunities to build, create, and design unique, “out of the box” programming and services to meet people where they are. Just in past seven months, we have welcomed 16 new, young families to our community. Our circle is always growing. So, what’s on the horizon? Heaven only knows, but we know that it will be great!
Is there anything else you’d like us to know?
I feel so blessed to stand on the shoulders of all the incredible women who came before me, both personally (in my family) and professionally (mentors and teachers who have helped me along my way). We are only as strong as the support we offer one another. My hope is that I can uplift and empower women in the same ways that I have been. I look forward to continuing to pay it forward.
And please visit https://www.hakafa.org/ to learn more about the congregation and all of our programming and https://www.baranetwork.com/ to learn more about the Jewish Birthing Network and you can connect with other Jewish women on this journey.
About our Meet of Mom Sponsor
A very heartfelt thank you to CNSMoms’ Meet a Mom sponsor, Lake Forest mom of three and owner of Gifford Law, a solo Estate Planning Firm (wills and trusts). Mary, we appreciate your support of local moms in our North Shore communities! Learn more about Mary by visiting her Meet a Mom spotlight here! Contact Mary directly here: [email protected].
